Journey to Thanksgiving week

Thanksgiving week is significant in many ways.  We have a whole week for break and I am going to my aunt's house for the break.  I have a lot of stuff that is coming due in the next two weeks so that is the challenge that I am facing this week and next.  It will be good!  I am nervous.  This semester was short and I'm not doing as well as I hoped I would.

I miss my husband.  I am not pregnant.  The IUI didn't work.  I don't know if an IVF will work.  Just keep moving forward.

Journey to IUI

So, Wednesday afternoon, I am getting my IUI procedure done.  I'm very excited, but nervous.  I hope this works.  I want a baby so much.  I pray everyday that He bless my family with more love!

My life is full, but it is incomplete.  My life is so wonderful as it is right now, but I feel like I'm missing out on something.  I have so much love to give and I already love so much!  I am so blessed with a truly outstanding support system!  I am not so strong, I just have really strong people holding me up and I never say thank you for being there...and I sort of take it for granted.  I am sorry if I haven't said thank you enough or call enough or say I love you enough.  If I have neglected you or taken your friendship and love for granted, I beg for forgiveness and I will try harder!

Mid-Terms

Wow!  So, Chemistry exam on Monday (moved from Friday--tomorrow), Psychology exam through the weekend (online and timed so, it's not like I have unlimited time to peruse the questions), Anatomy & Physiology Wednesday (moved from Monday), Nutrition-Wednesday AM, Micro Lab write up due Tuesday, Autobiography paper for Psych due...so yeah... :s

The Journey of the 1st day

Well, today has been my first day more or less alone.  It went fairly well.  I cried over a cup of coffee this morning.  I could barely tell the gal who makes them at the Coffee Cart what it was that I wanted.  I had already started to tear up.  I don't know why that is, exactly because that wasn't ever something R and I ever did together.  Thank goodness she knows what I get and was able to finish the sentence.  Maybe it was the look she gave me...the "puppy-dog-eyes" if you will...

Then, I get someone knocking on my door asking if I have any yard work that needs to be done and that he would do it for cheap.  I was like, yeah, I have work for you!  He said he'd do it for $15...but the work I needed done is worth quite a bit more and I will pay him for what I think it is worth.  I am going to get his phone number and pass the word along because you have got to hand it to the man--he is recently laid off and looking for work EVERYWHERE!  The fact that he is a forward-thinking, hard working guy tells me that he won't be unemployed for too long!  He told me that he has some bills to pay off and needs the money.  He hasn't been late on anything yet and doesn't plan to be!  My heart goes out to him!  If I can help him in anyway, I will!

Journey to the last weekend...

Okay, so I went back an re-read my posts...it would seem that I am a drama queen.  But I really am not! Nonetheless, my husband REALLY is leaving soon.  As in a couple of days, soon.  This is the weekend that my husband gets to decide most everything that is going to happen.  I don't know what he wants to do or if there is anything in store, but no matter what it is that he wants to do, we're gonna do it...this should be interesting...

I don't know how the dogs are going to take it, but I know they know that something is up, especially Codi, my big baby of a Labrador...I can totally tell that he knows that something's up...my little Cavvie...he's mentally retarded...he doesn't know anything...poor guy...

Well, I've got things to accomplish even if it is 10:15 at night...

Journey to becoming a geographical bachelorette

Well, the time is fast approaching that my husband will be leaving me.  I am not looking forward to live without my husband for a year and change.  I hate thinking about it.  I worry about everything right now.  But I'm being good.  Last time we went through deployment, I started picking fights with Rob all the time.  I haven't been doing that this time.  I know he appreciates that!

I so don't want to be single again.  I hate doing stuff by myself and I don't have a war-wife with me this time.  I am truly on my own this time.  Such is the life of a military wife.  This will definitely be a journey I don't want to go through again...

A Journey to Me

Thinking about my Psych paper, thinking about how I came to be the way I am...I had an interesting conversation with him.  I see a mini-storm in the making.  Well, how did I learn to deal with things like this?  This storm is probably not going to be as destructive as they've been in the past...

I don't even know how the best way to deal with all of that junk.  Hum...let it float around in my brain for while...maybe I'll have an interesting insight later...

A Journey to the end of the day

Today's been one of the worst days of my life.  I want today to end.  I'm going to bed now.  It can't be worse tomorrow.

Journey to the 1st Exam (reprise)

Hahaha!  They fooled me again!  Actually, the last post I mentioned that I had an absent professor due to serious illness and he is on a leave of absence right now.  We have the 2nd string professor (self-proclaimed).  We aren't having THAT particular exam...that's right folks, chapters 1-4 for my psych class has been canceled.   The autobiography assignment is going to have a different approach taken to it, altogether.  We'll see how that goes...

But, rest assured, there will be another exam...right around the corner.  Yes, I in fact have 2 exams and a paper due next Tuesday, which will be my first exam(s) of the semester.

Today, I turned in my application for the Nursing program and so, now I wait.  That ought to be interesting...I hate waiting.  But that's okay...

Would write more, but I have exams to prepare for, 2 homework assignments and a paper to write...

Journey to the 1st exam

My first exam...I'm not actually entirely sure which one it'll be...my psych professor called out sick today.  We were supposed to have an exam on Friday over chapters 1-4.  On Monday, we won't have a lecture.  We are taking the Myer-Briggs personality test.  Wednesday will be our first actual lecture.  Monday and Wednesday last week were introductions to the class and the syllabus.  So, I'm not entirely sure we *will* have an exam on Friday.  But, I'm not going to bet that there WON'T be one, so I need to be prepared for it anyway...

If we don't end up with an exam on Friday, I know that I'll have one the following Tuesday in Microbiology over chapters 1-5. 

I decided to take the evening off to play on the computer.  I'm absolutely pooped after my workout today.  I actually ran on the treadmill for 15 full minutes.  I tried to do 16.5, but I just couldn't breathe anymore.  I'll get more stamina as I continue to do it.

I'm quitting smoking on Monday.  That should make it easier to try and study...(read sarcasm here)...

Must sleep now.

The journey to Pueblo

Daily, I drive from Fountain to Pueblo where I attend Colorado State University-Pueblo in pursuit of my BSN.  Every morning, I get up, get showered and dressed and roll out to 7-11 where I get my coffee fix.  I could (and probably should) make coffee at home.  I then battle traffic going to the local high school and the Soldiers making their way to first formation (Physical Training) on a road that has been under construction as long as I've lived in this neighborhood.  I make a very boring 30 mile drive.  I go to classes, hang out with new friends, study a bit and then I make the same drive I made some 8 hours before, except I fight with traffic coming out of the base and the teachers leaving the school.

I will be doing this day in and day out for the next 14 weeks.  I don't get Labor day off, but I get a full week off at Thanksgiving.  That's a new one...

Journey to nursing and motherhood

Well, I made a couple of fatal errors today when giving myself my shot this evening.  I forgot to alcohol swab my skin!  Then, I ended up having to stick myself twice because the needle popped out the first time!

I certainly hope that this isn't a sign that I shouldn't go into nursing! I've had enough shots and blood drawn to know that I needed to clean the skin...man, I am a dummy!

Journey to the end of the 3rd month of infertility drugs

Well, if you couldn't tell, I'm still not pregnant yet.  If I am not pregnant this cycle, then I start the hardcore fertility drugs.  If THAT doesn't work, then we start IUI treatments...and holy crap!  My insurance doesn't cover any of that medication!  So, we're really hoping that this month works.  I kinda knew a long time ago that I was going to have to do injectibles, but I really hope that I don't have to.  It's really hard on your body.

Anyway, that's all I've got for now...

The Journey to the British Isles!

As some of you may know, we're getting ready to take a vacation to England, Scotland and Ireland!  I can-not wait!  Friday can not get here soon enough.  If you are one of my facebook friends, do not plan on me posting all that often, nor responding to any posts for a month!

Oh my goodness, that means that it's just that much closer to deployment...I can't believe that it's already that time of the year.  Tear, tear.  I'm going to be lost without my best friend!  At least I'll still have school, but when he was gone for 3 months to train at Ft. Leavenworth, I was lost then...and I was working and my mother lived with me for a short while.  Sigh.

I do have a wife, though.  One of my longest friends...a friend I've had since I was in jr. high school...will be mostly local while her husband is off working a variety of jobs throughout the US.  At least I won't be totally alone.  I feel like that prayer has been answered.

If it turns out that I haven't conceived before R's gone, I will try a couple of IUI's.  We haven't decided how many of those treatments I should endure before going to IVF...there's a significant cost increase with that kind of treatment.  In my mind, 3 IUIs before IVF...but, I don't know how much more successful an IVF will be.  As far as the docs know, we've already corrected the known problems, SO the IUIs should work...

Anyway, if I'm not pregnant this cycle (sniff, sniff), the upside is that I can drink my body's weight of vodka and various wines for a week or two before we try naturally...here's hoping...

The journey to size 8

Well, just a couple of weeks has finally shown me slight results.  I am finally in size 12.  The pants are still a bit tight, but at least I can get the damned things buttoned!

Army Ball is next weekend...no way am I going to be in any old dresses...glad my mother in law came helped me find a good dress!  I'll still look like a cow, but at least I'll be wearing a pretty dress! :)

I need to go now.

A Journey to non-smoking

Yeah, well, if you know me at all, then you know that I haven't been exactly successful quitting.  I have quit smoking 6 times in the last 12 months...in fact, I've been trying to quit for more than a year now and most of my time is spent taking one step forward, 2 or 3 steps back...and now I'm smoking a little over a pack a day...which is about a quarter of a pack more than I had been smoking.

Well, I am at it again!  More to follow on this one, for sure.

Tomorrow's my quit day, again.

The Journey to Body Worlds

Extra credit for a class is really just an insurance policy in case you don't do as well as you would have liked to on an exam--or at least that's how I see extra credit.  But, if you've already done badly on an exam, the extra credit will just give your grade a little boost.

I tend not to need extra credit for classes, but I do it anyway.  I can ALWAYS use that insurance policy!

And today is just that day.  5 points extra credit for visiting the body worlds exhibit at the natural history museum in Downtown Denver.  I technically don't even need to see it, I just need to show that I purchased a ticket.  I don't want to spend all day at the museum, either.  I have an exam tomorrow afternoon, a major project due and another exam on Tuesday morning...oh, and I start my photography class tomorrow morning, too! :)

Welp, it's time to get a move on...

The Journey to August

So, R is getting deployed a little sooner than we had anticipated.  :(  Such is the life of a military family.  I'm feeling tense right now.

I don't really know how he feels about it.  It is what it is, to him, I guess.  And it really is what it is...just something I need to work out on my own.  I don't blame him.  He didn't VOLUNTEER to go early (or so he says...watch out, I tend to be passive-aggressive...)

I start fertility hormones this week, and as the previous times that I've taken hormones, I get a little crazy (eh hem...slight underestimation, probably).  Luckily, R's VERY patient and tolerant.  And it's a good thing, too!  I highly doubt we'd still be married if he didn't tolerate my moodiness.  I'm less crazy since I've had him in my life and he's a little more outgoing too!  Perhaps I've just grown out of most of it...and now that he's getting to know my family better, he kind of understands some of my neurotic tendencies better, too.  In fact, he says I'm a lot like my dad, temper-wise.  We both blow up, but once it's done, it's done.  And then, we're fine!  LOL!

At any rate, we're going to deal and I'll probably just be a little neurotic between now and then...at least I was the last time we went through this...I think I know what to expect a little more than before and I also remember how I was thinking back then so I should be aware of things that I might do and try not to do those things.  I really hope that I get pregnant before he goes.  I really REALLY don't want to do IUI/IVF treatments while he's gone...

A journey on the treadmill

I can't remember the last time I got on a treadmill.  It's been a while.  Actually, I can, but I won't bore you with THAT...suffice it to say it was around mid-2006 when my husband was deployed for his 2nd tour in Iraq (3rd deployment overall).

I walked a fairly slow speed, about an 18:45 pace, for over an hour.  I burned almost 500 calories, walked about 3.34 miles and I'm feeling really good right now.  Talk about rubber legs!  Wooweee, baby!  Perhaps even a tad dizzy after I got off the machine.  Needless to say, I'm going back again tomorrow! :)  I really have enjoyed going to the gym after I get out of school.

Maybe soon, I'll start to notice some change!  I'd be really REALLY happy to start to see the numbers on the scale go down a bit, but I'd really just like to start getting my heart into shape.

So, now it's time to hit the showers.  I feel all slime-y and smelly!

The journey to the end of the 6 week term...

Oh, and it's BEEN a journey.  It's been the hardest 4 weeks of my life, hands down...well, except for the time I was married to my ex.  That was just life, though!  I shouldn't talk crap, though.  I wasn't easy to live with then, either and it's certainly not been easy for my husband NOW!  Part of the reason we did as well as we did the last 18 months of our marriage was because we had roommates.  My roommate J. took a lot of the heat off of I!  Me and I clashed pretty bad, but it was worse with J and I.  I am happy to report though, that I has *finally* gotten into a serious relationship--well, serious enough that it's on facebook.  Oh, yes.  I am a facebook stalker and I'm not ashamed to admit it!  I search most of my ex's and see where they are.  It makes me really grateful to where I am.  Is that terrible of me?  I and me divorced 10 years ago in Aug.  So, I am happy that he finally moved on.  It took me a long time, in my opinion, to move on.  I'd been divorced all of...oh wait, I wasn't divorced when I had my first serious relationship (can you say rebound?)...but it was something like 3 years after I divorced before I met the man I knew I'd marry.

I knew I'd marry R after I deployed to Iraq in 2003.  I knew after a few letters I'd received from him.  One of those letters was about his "man juice" and how I'd just wanted him for that!  LOL!  After talking to one of the gals I worked with at the time, she said that was 7th date information, although we'd never had a 7th date...no we hadn't even had a 3rd date!  R wanted kids and it was apparent in that letter...a letter I still have.  A man who wanted kids!  And I wanted kids!  It worked out...there was so much more to that, though.  I wrote a pose about the sand to him towards the beginning of the war.  He still has THAT letter, too.

But, I digress...I just finished 2 exams in the lecture, 2 exams in the lab (oh, and this is Anatomy and Physiology) all of which I have excelled.  I  have an exam tomorrow.  I've been studying this weekend with my mother in law who is also a nurse.  She said this stuff was just coming back to her!  I was just saying to her on the way up to Denver why on earth do I really honestly need to know ALL of this when we came across a doctor's office that said that he specialized in maxillary stuff...and I was like, "Oh, I know where that is!" (oh, and I was excited about having this knowledge!)  And she said, "and once you know the bones, the nerves and muscles usually have the same names...who knew...well, I guess she knew!  :)

So, today, I prepared my lecture homework on joints and spent the better part of the weekend memorizing the axial bones.  I've had a few drinks tonight, so I decided that I wasn't going to review the bones.  I'm getting up bright and early tomorrow to review my bones and structures for the practical (lab exam) tomorrow morning.  Classes end on the 17th.  4 down, 2 to go.

The Journey to a correct posture

Well, while I was in my Anatomy class today, we were going through the vertebrae and looking at some pathological problems with the spine.  There is this photo in the book that shows a woman who's belly looks very similar to mine and she has a problem with her spine.  So, not only do I have to lose weight, I need to correct my posture.  While I am TOTALLY enjoying learning about our anatomy and physiology, I am learning all about my own problems...all the more reason to lose all this extra weight...I need to start exercising differently!

Journey to Memorial Day

This weekend, my in-laws will be visiting us from Ohio and I'm really excited to see them.  We have a lot of stuff planned!  I hope that we can all go up to Denver and visit with my parents, at least for dinner or something while they're here.  The problem is, I have a whole lot of stuff to do to get ready for NEXT week's classes AND my dad just had heart surgery, so he's probably not going to want to hang out for too long...  We'll see...Then, I have another exam and a project due both on Tuesday.  As you can well imagine, I am not really looking forward to spending the time required to do these things, as I would MUCH rather hang out with my family.  I was hoping that I'd get a small breather, but it is not to be.  At least this is almost over.   I am so looking forward to going on vacation!  I start a new class on the 7th of June so things aren't about to slow down any...

Journey to deployment

Well, the deployment dates have more or less been nailed down.  It's right around the corner.  Finish up with the summer term at the very beginning of July and then we're doing a 3 week venture into England, Scotland and Ireland.  I'm really looking forward to the trip, but I know right after that, I'm going to have to tell my husband goodbye, something I am not looking forward to and I'm not sure I really want to think about.  I will keep myself busy as my company's FRG leader.  Good news, though.  I now have a co-leader and I am really relieved that I don't have to do 250 soldiers and their families during deployment all by myself.

The more that I think about it, the sadder I become.  I have an exam tomorrow and all I can concentrate on right now is the fact that my husband's going to Iraq.  I really, REALLY need to hit the books tonight.  I foresee this as a very long night and I haven't done an all-night study session since...well, not since I've been going to school this time around...

The hubs has made steaks for dinner, so I guess I better get some dinner and then hit the books.

The journey to fitness

Since I am de-cluttering my life, it stands to reason that part of that de-cluttering is losing body weight...just the same as it is "losing weight" in my garage! I'm not terribly overweight, but I am overweight for my body frame, which happens to be small. I'm tall, though, so I can carry a tad bit more weight, but as it stands right now, I'm just on the cusp of normal and overweight, BMI-speaking. I don't have to be itty-bitty anymore, afterall, I am trying to get pregnant, but I do actually need to slim down some.

Currently, I am weighing in at roughly 180 lbs. My "ideal weight" is 135, but I haven't seen that since I came back from Iraq in 2003. It's probably not very likely that I'll see that weight again for a while. My "happy weight" is between 145-150. I'm not even all that uncomfortable at 155. So, my goal is to get in that range again. But my weight loss won't even be noticeable until I've lost 15 lbs; that's the problem with being an apple shape. I gain all my weight around my middle and a little in the hips, thighs and face. But after I start losing the weight around my middle, then I start to lose the excess fat around my boobs, legs and face.

I have started swimming again. This is how I'm going to get fit and lose weight. I went to the pool a few weeks ago before I had my surgery and haven't been able to go again until today. It felt good to get back in the water. I'm going to have to get used to the smell of chlorine again. It's an awful smell!

The journey to de-cluttering

Oh yes, just as painful as it sounds, I have been in the process of de-cluttering my life and my house. My friend K has been helping me do that by helping me go through boxes that haven't seen the light of day in years. My husband has been getting me furniture to put things away and I have slowly, but surely de-junked my life. It's not all done, far from it, for you see, I am a pack-rat. There are still stacks of junk and stuff I don't really need or want, but I don't have the heart to get rid of it. It's been a really hard journey. As I look at things, I remember. I then take that stuff, remember one last time and ingrain it to memory and away it goes.

Books are harder for me to do that with, especially some really old encyclopedias that I got from my grandmother after she died and father before he sold his house to move in with my step-mother. I will never read them, I will never use them, but these books are seriously OLD. I probably *should* donate them to a library, but I will always wonder what happened to them. For now, they will remain in boxes stored away. As for my recent reads, most of them will be donated or sold to a used book dealer. Because my husband is in the military, we move a lot and books are heavy items to move and a pain because they collect dust and when they get moved, said dust that has settled comes back up again!

Since I decided that I wanted to simplify my life, I've noticed that it's easier to keep things clean, but I'm still not to the point where I have no stacks. I'll get there. Eventually...

The journey to becoming a mommy

I recently went through a laparoscopic and a hysteroscopic surgery and have been given the green light to start trying again. I can also get back in the pool and lose the extra pounds I've been carrying around!

I start clomid, estridol and hCG hormones in June followed by an ultrasound later in the month. If I am not pregnant by late summer, we are going to get my husband's swimmers frozen for an IUI/IVF treatment.

I hope to have good news to share in a few months! :)

The journey to becoming a nurse

I started my nursing education in Jan of this year. It hasn't been all that easy to come back to school after having been away for such a long while. I received a letter in the mail yesterday announcing the fact that I had made Dean's List, a fact that I knew weeks ago, but merely legitimized it.

I started the summer semester just over 2 weeks ago and it's been a grueling couple of weeks. 4 to go. I have a total of 11 exams plus 4 majors projects and 2 papers--that's just in 4 credit hours, or two classes. I have another 4 credit hour class that begins in June. That class has nothing to do with becoming a nurse, but will help me to become better with my hobby, photography.

And as I write this, my mind is currently on all the homework and memorization that needs to get done, as there are 3 exams this week.

Just a little something...I don't know if I am going to try to keep up on this or not. I have had several blogs in the past and I've kept up on them to varying degrees so, we'll just see how this one goes...